Your Pastoral Coach

When a Priest Leads

When a priest leads, he can make such a transformative difference. Priests have many roles. They celebrate, they administer, they guide, but one of them is to lead. To help their congregation live with a compelling and powerful vision of who they can be as a community, as a body, to help them commit to that vision, and to align everything towards that. Sometimes the pressures for time and perhaps their own skills, prevent them from realizing their leadership potential. But when they do, they can really transform a community.

The Hispanic community of my church had a part time priest that could only give the church a day a week. He did what he could and was able to establish deep relationships with some families and to encourage and guide us through mass and confession. The Hispanic ministry functioned with the hep of a handful of us and a wonderful sister. A couple of months ago we received a new priest from Mexico. He is able to give us 3-4 days a week.

He met with us, the few volunteers, to learn more about who we are and what we do. He listened to the needs of the community. Instead of immediately start planning activities and creating lists of to dos, he did something differently. He started to give of himself to the core and to educate. We started to get together every Saturday morning for 2-3 hours. He covered with us pastoral letters on evangelization and on communities. He covered the Sacrosanctum Concilium from Vatican II and we discussed the importance and sacredness of liturgy. Although he prepared and lead the discussions, we had real discussions and learned about each other and the Church. Little by little the core group has increased in size and it's now 15 people, many of them couples. You can feel the fire of the Holy Spirit beginning to stir in our hearts as a group. Yesterday we finished our meeting with a potluck with all our families and kids, while the priest entertained us playing guitar and singing fun "party" songs.

Before you know it, wonderful ministries will emerge, not because "Father said so," but because as a people we will be moved to act with faith. How wonderful when a priest leads! May God bless priests and leaders everywhere!

Technorati Tags: Servant-Leadership

Feedback Is a Gift

"I have feedback for you..." I told one of my employees today. Her eyes opened wide, she quickly became nervous, she braced for the worst...

We are always interacting with people, and sometimes people's behaviors negatively impact us. Some behave in mean, heartless, arrogant, and condescending ways. Some lye, cheat, and manipulate. Some avoid decisions, responsibility, or personal hygiene. Others over criticize, over control, or over analyze. All of us reading this, of course, are perfect. It's others... The reality is that as much as others negatively impact us, we impact them as well. The important thing is to get the courage to talk about it, to express what we are feeling, and to do it early on. Otherwise, things accumulate, baggage develops, and we assume intent that never existed. Having these feedback conversations are never easy.

The best way to do this is to use the BICA method. Share with the other person what behavior is negatively impacting you or others. It's important to give feedback on a person's Behavior, and not on a person or a person's intention. Then describe the Impact such behavior has on you. How it makes you feel. Then share what could be a Consequence that could occur if such behavior continues. For example, losing trust, avoiding speaking up, avoiding getting together, etc. Finally, share what an Alternate behavior in a similar situation might look like.

I have used this technique many times. It allows us to express and give feedback, while protecting the dignity and respect of the other person. By its very nature it helps us avoid calling names and assuming intent. I did have the feedback with my employee. I gave specific examples of times when she exhibited the behavior I was talking about. She was frustrated about her lack of awareness, but walked out with her sense of dignity and something to improve on. This also helps us validate that we are all different, but all created in the image of God.

Technorati Tags: Leadership

3 Secrets to Happy and Engaged Employees

I have talked to many people lately who feel very unhappy at their work. They feel used and abused. Consumed and thrown. Disillusioned and empty. Angry and depressed. Why does it have to be so? Why do supervisors not create a better work environment for their people? In many cases, is because people in supervisory roles are too preoccupied with their own upward mobility and with pleasing superiors. Or they take people for granted. I don't understand why it needs to be like this. Here are my 3 secrets to happy and engaged employees...

Which public servant-leader has influenced you the most?

Last week I facilitated an executive leadership retreat. One of the exercises was to identify a public leader, deceased or alive, that they admired the most, to name a leadership behavior that the leader exemplified, and why. Although I did not specifically asked for people that we would consider servant-leaders, most were. Although I did not specify servant-leadership behaviors, again, most were identified.

Banning Torture and Living Christian Life Values

I'm very proud and happy that Senator John McCain has pushed, and pushed for the United States to raise the bar on how it should treat its detainees. He has shown a great example in servant-leadership, demonstrating courage and integrity.

"On a 308 to 122 vote, members of the House supported specific language proposed by Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) that would prohibit "cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment or punishment" of anyone in the custody of the U.S. government. "

This is important for me for two reasons. First, to not treat prisoners humanely would be to not respect the sanctity and dignity of life. Second, it is a dangerous and slippery slope. It is difficult for us as a country to maintain the high moral ground and credibility necessary to denounce human rights violations worldwide if we can't pass the same test.

I'm not sure if Christian life values motivate him, but at least he is living them...

May God bless people of all walks of life that face social pressures in order to live their lives with integrity, love, and justice.

Technorati Tags: Culture of Life, Servant-Leadership

Accomplish Goals and Realize Dreams: Increasing Self-Discipline (Part 6)

Self-discipline is extremely important in our ability to accomplish our goals and realize our dreams (also see part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, and part 5). By now we have worked hard on mission statements, intentions, and goals. The fuel that makes this engine work is self-discipline. The good news is that there are ways to maximize it. This concept is also very important for parents.

Pope John Paul II: Rise, Let Us Be On Our Way

A couple of weekends ago I had the pleasure to read Pope John Paul II's Rise, Let Us Be On Our Way. My wonderful sister gave me this book for Christmas. It was just a pleasure to share this intimate moment with this great man and saint. It doesn't appear that he co-wrote this book with anyone, you can truly feel his presence. As you read this book, you feel like he is sitting right there with you reminiscing about his years as Bishop of Krakow. Although His Holiness wrote this book to instruct his bishops, there is plenty of inspiration for all of us.

Mastering To-Dos: I’m going “retro” to go forward

Are you on top of all your projects, priorities, and to-dos, or are you drowning in an ocean of sticky notes and endless lists? I had a wonderful and effective system to manage my life’s priorities. I used it consistently for five years, but then in 2002 I had a great improvement idea… I’ve been trying to unsuccessfully recover ever since… until last night. I’m going retro!

Atlanta archbishop tells synod church needs inspiring preachers

I read this article quoting Archbishop Wilton D. Gregory of Atlanta and it resonated with me. This is important not only as an active and committed Catholic, but also as a leader. Every time we walk up to a stage or a microphone we have a unique "leadership moment." We have a precious opportunity to clarify a vision, get alignment on policy or doctrine, educate, inspire, or challenge. We need to connect both intellectually as well as emotionally. Unfortunately, this doesn't always happen.

Commitment to Unrelenting Pursuit of Goals

"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal — a commitment to excellence — that will enable you to attain the success you seek."

~ Mario Andretti (1940-)
US champion auto race driver

Technorati Tags: Leadership, Quotes, Success