Your Pastoral Coach

Enjoying Life in Nashville, TN

Last week was a very difficult one for me. I was exposed to people I interact with often knowingly behaving in a prejudicial and discriminatory way, while others were completely supporting them for their own self-interest. It literally has been making me sick to my stomach. Then I had the decision of how and when to act to try to protect the innocents. Well, I made that decision yesterday, and I already feel better. Given that rough week, I needed some rest and relaxation My birthday was Saturday and I asked my wife Angie to not buy me anything. Instead I want experiences.

Well, she took me to Nashville, TN for the weekend. First time for both. We had a very pleasant drive on Friday. Saturday we walked through every single street and park of this pretty and fun city. We were very impressed with the city. Music is everywhere and sounds from live bands pour out of many clubs and restaurants even during the day. The Country Music Hall of Fame was interesting. Then, I got one of my dreams come true: going to the Grand Ole Opry! I was so happy! Yes, I'm a Puerto Rican that in addition to Salsa and Merengue (types of Latin music) loves Bluegrass and Country. The show was spectacular! I love music and I love radio, so this was a great combination. The musicians were top notch. During those three hours I was totally there, not thinking about how easily the dignity of people can be dismissed for self-interest.

I definitely recommend Nashville for a fun weekend!

Technorati Tags: Happiness

Silence, Peace, and Birds

This weekend I spent Friday night through Sunday afternoon in silent retreat. I had a chance to spend two full days without speaking to anyone (except night calls to my wife) and with no TV or radio. I was in a rustic cabin in the woods. At least twice a year I need a short retreat like this to re-energize my batteries. Time to pray, to ponder, to write, and to be. I was also working on a personal project and was able to go deep, spending hours at a time on it. I was able to sit in the porch and observe many birds like bluejays, chickadees, titmouse, woodpeckers, crows, and lots of squirrels. Also a wild turkey and a mama deer with her fawn. At night an owl was calling by the cabin. It's so wonderful to be close to nature. I came home refreshed and so happy!

Technorati Tags: Spirituality

Giving the Gift of Experiences

My parents are retired in Ft. Myers Florida, they live in a small condo, and have modest, but adequate savings for their retirement years. They are very happy with their lives and are really getting engaged in community service. When it comes to Father's or Mother's day celebrations or birthdays, I'm trying to give them experiences and not just buy them more stuff. For example, a weekend in a small cottage in Sanibel Island or dinner-theater aboard a train.

Last week I was in Miami on business. The company hosted the event in a very nice hotel (The Biltmore). I invited my parents over to stay with us Friday and Saturday. They had never ben to Miami. It was so nice to see them enjoy exploring the unfamiliar, spending time by the pool just talking, and watching them surprised with the amenities of their room. At night Angie and I took them to a Cuban restaurant on South Beach. Again, they looked like kids watching in amazement the fast pace, fashions, and "characters" of South Beach. I love this stage of our lives were we can enjoy each other's company as friends that love and respect each other. I think I have reached the same desire. I don't want any more stuff, just to be able to experience this wonderful life.

Well, talking about experiences, Angie and I are off to Cleveland this weekend to do a half-marathon. Pray for stamina!

God bless!

Technorati Tags: Happiness

Who is Making a Difference in Your Life?

I received this in an e-mail from a friend. It was entitled Charles Schultz Philosophy.

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip.

You don't have to actually answer the questions.
Just read straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers.
They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish.
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson:
The people who make a difference in your life
are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money,
or the most awards.
They are the ones that care.

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.

It's already tomorrow in Australia." (Charles Schultz)

Technorati Tags: Gratitude

In St. Louis this Week

I'm in St. Louis, MO with my son this week exploring. It's really nice to have some father son time and talk about things in life, girlfriend issues, and the future. Tomorrow we are going to see some shrine for St. Joseph. Today we went up the arch. It was impressive. It is unbelievable that they were able to create such a beautiful structure 40 years ago. I hope everyone is well!

Technorati Tags: Happiness

Staying Happy During Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day sounds like a fun holiday, right? A time to honor and celebrate our love for one another. However, it can be a less than happy time for those that are not in a happy relationship or are wishing to have one. Here are some tips from an e-mail I received from the Reflective Happiness Center...

Thinking Through a Difficult Situation

Many years ago a friend of mine was reading a book called the Power of Now and he shared a little formula to think through the many difficult situations we face in life. When faced with these situation we first ask, "Can I make a change that will cause this problem to no longer exist or be as bad?" If we can't or we are not successful at it, we then ask, "Can I remove myself from this bad situation?" Finally, if we can't change it or we can't remove it, we must accept it. Change, remove, accept.

This sounds trivial, but sometimes we are deep in a problem and we can't see our way out, everything looks like a fog. We are in the swamp and all we see is alligators. We have too many thoughts bouncing in our brain and we may feel victimized. It is good to then pause and ask these questions. As obvious as this seems, how many times are we feeling sorry or angry over a situation that we can't change or we can't remove from our lives? We keep going in an emotional roller coster when what we need to do is begin the difficult process of acceptance. This sounds silly, but accepting the situation is hard work, it requires humble surrender. Realizing that acceptance is the only option is the first step.

Over the past few years I have been dealing with a bad situation that I can't mention here "to protect the innocent." I tried to change the situation and I tried to make changes in me, and they caused only a subtle improvement. This week I learned that the situation is still here and bad. My wife and I had some tough soul searching to do on this yesterday and today, and came to the conclusion that we now must remove ourselves from this situation. This will take many months to do, if we are successful. If we are not, then it will be time to accept.

I pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit so that my wife and I may be able to discern and make the right choices with peace and joy in our heart.

Technorati Tags: Depression, Happiness

Romantic Date

Well..., I asked my lovely bride out on a date..., and she said yes! Last night we went out on a date! Our typical definition of a date is ordering Chinese food, getting some wine, and watching a movie at home. I wanted to go some place nice where we would have to dress up. We went to an "artsy" part of town, found a romantic restaurant, and had a great dinner and good, fun conversation. It was so nice. After dinner we went for a brisk walk (it was cold), stopped by a Martini bar with a Jazz band, and then came back home, before midnight... We plan to have a nice date once a month...

Technorati Tags: Happiness

What Brings You Meaning During Christmas?

Are you stressed, fatigued, exhausted with all the shopping and activities related to this season?  For some the increased family interactions of the comming days will increase the stress level even more.  We fuss about making everything perfect, yet is "perfect" what we want?  Is "perfect" what will create more happiness and joy?

Gospel Reflection for December 11, 2005

A reflection of Sunday Scripture readings for Sunday, December 11, 2005, third Sunday of Advent. Today's readings tell us to rejoice, to live with a sense of joy that never leaves us. Intellectually, we can get there very easily. As Mary said in our Responsorial Psalm (from Luke) "My soul rejoices in my God. My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked upon his lowly servant. " How can we not be happy? This amazing God has lovingly offered his only Son to save us, he has looked upon the hearts of all of us, lowly servants. Yet, we all know that it is not that easy to have our soul constantly rejoice. As special as the Christmas season is it is difficult for many of us to live in joy and happiness always. Is it possible? Yes! These readings share clues as to how..